Mark,I am so happy you're taking the time to entertain all this. You may or may not have an idea of how helpful it is to me. I will take the same format of addressing the issues--because I found yours so clear and therefore accessible.
Mark Bloch wrote:
see below thanks for your mail tool check alsotonerworks.blogspot.com
see below thanks for your mail tool check alsotonerworks.blogspot.com
From: Jeff Hogue Date: Wed, 13 Dec 2006 12:13:13 -0800 (PST)
To: Mark Bloch Subject: thanks for this email Mark, I haven't read your other two emails yet.
I wasn't trying to shame you--although I do understand that it could easily be taken as such. I am not trying to ride the waves of your approval--although again I know it helps. We are all social animals. While it's true that what we think of one another is none of the business of the other--it seems appropriate to share experience, strength and hope with one another--this is one way that we help one another fulfill our capacities and actualize our dreams.
(some parts excluded from this forum)
You may or may not know it but Scott Peck's illustrious career was devoted to community building and many of his foundational ideas came from the "12 Traditions" of AA. In 1984 or 1985 I was fortunate to get to meet, hear and eventually work with a man named "Don C" who led a workshop on the 12 Traditions while living in Colorado Springs. He took what had been for me stale and arcane writings and breathed life into them showing how they could be approached as dynamic technologies for building deep and transformative consensus among committed people.
He was (is) a visionary--a haloed medicine man--was the senior Manager for Digital Corp in Colorado Springs handling "NORAD" technical support and what not--a former NASA engineer--and a recovering drunken Mohawk Indian. He was the first person to link what I had already discovered through my time in Menningers in 1980-1982 which was this phenomenal and miraculous--if mysterious atmosphere called "community" to its functional underpinnings.
When I was an inpatient (at Menningers) in 1980-'82 battling bi-polar illness and what not we used to have these weekly community meetings that as it turned out were really transformative. It's hard to isolate exactly what made those meetings so powerful and nurturing--but I have some ideas.
First, they were held in a highly focused and structured environment. The staff had regular schedules, as did the patients. These were consistent and dependable and created for me a sort of infrastructure for the wild and misguided energies I was often subject to. Two, there were several people in those meetings who were spiritually awake. Some of these men and women were what we would call "geniuses" or "spiritual masters" meaning that regardless of what sort of pandemonium might have erupted with one or more of the 23 patients (I keep wanting to write "students" in place of "patients") these men and women remained poised, transcendent, yet engaged and compassionate. They had that rare character which I have come to recognize as "sage like." Three, all were allowed to speak whatever they wished and were encouraged to be spontaneous--even if that meant risking saying something "inappropriate" or stupid. This tolerance--this real and loving and consistently accepting tolerance of all of us set the tone for "unconditional love." This meant that I gradually learned that I was in fact lovable--even when I was arrogant--pretentious--cowardly--mean spirited--or whatever...I do mean fully whatever. Four, the treators were humane enough and evolved enough to create a level playing field. Rarely did I feel condescended to. The section chief, Dr. Dean Collins--a world class Psychiatrist with Buddha presence on several occasions would walk up to me as I sat alone in the cafeteria eating my lunch and ask to join me. We never exchanged a lot in words--it was more our sense of one another. He loved me (and I adored him)--and everyone there with a profound and unwavering kindness, cheer, and playfulness that can only be associated with enlightenment. So I guess Five is that we had "wise elders" present who were able to hold the energy of the community in a gentle yet masterfully firm way--which gave people like me who were raised by raging fathers and doting childish mothers (though well intentioned) a sense of clarity and safety. I began to learn that I could let go.
It was in this sublime atmosphere--combined with my time with another master--my main doctor and guru, Becquer Benalcazar that allowed me to break free of the disease that had been killing me for some time--the disease of this destructive and raging and disembodied false self.
When I first got out of Menninger's after 2 years and 2 weeks of in- hospital treatment--I dove into AA and NA meetings. They were my refuge and my support. I craved the energy of community--that transcendent loving space where time slows, voices become softer, clearer, and more audible, where deep thoughts and subtle connections seem to flow without too much ado, where acquaintances feel familial--and where trusted friends feel even more intimate than the day before-- where the darkness--the wolf at the door is turned away--at least for a few minutes or hours.
I used to go to these lunch AA meetings in Topeka, Kansas where Menningers used to be located--and there were 4 or 5 extraordinary "old timers" in the group. They rarely said a lot, but they glowed, transmitting an atmosphere of peace and good will. They were natural and real and consistently kind to me. Occasionally one would say something to me in passing or in private that would ring my bell--like a Zen master offering a koan that I immediately understood. These were important experiences.
Over the next 15- 18 years I became disenchanted. A lot of my problem was of course "me" and my attitudes and behaviors--which remained self-defeating and problematic. I came into AA through a world class hospital, believed I was a true genius, had met a number of famous people--becoming friends with some and was a tragic romantic with feelings of supreme uniqueness.
7 years out of treatment I decided to go to art school. There I had a hard time locating "community" though early on I talked a lot about it. In art school I became a stand out--winning top awards, being asked by the President to holiday meals, and having famous New York artists to my house.
We got to do an experimental work with the sculptor, James Surls who shows in galleries like Marlborough and what not. We created a collaborative performance called "Beyond Time" which became a platform for a number of my notions. After the performance in his studio north of Houston--a 15000 sq foot redwood structrue surrounded by pines with a kitchen, clean room for his 8 foot wood block prints, showers, a stage, a 30 foot ceiling, and various relics, paintings and sculptures from friends and colleagues...he made a b-line to me after the performance--gave me a big hug--and told me it was the best thing he'd ever seen.
I created a piece in San Antonio called "I Wanna Be A Hero" in which a woman came up to me afterward and told me that she'd recently seen the Tibetan Lamas perform and that she'd had the same experience at my show. This felt like an enormous endorsement.
When I was at the Vermont Studio Center in '93 I was working with Jane Dickson--a woman with work in the Museum of Modern Art and the Met who used to come by my studio and often linger. I knew that I was in that exalted and inspired space that I had been in and out of for years since my initial awakening. One day she told me that I reminded her of her friend Kiki Smith and that though I was a good painter--she believed I was here to do something else...I took this to mean creating collaborations as a new and socially engaged art form.
There have been many other experiences. I have met some Tibetans who have indicated that I am some sort of rimpoche--a reincarnated master. I don't think this is unusual--and suspect that lots of people who are good artists are--like you and Bob probably.
Anyway, here we are. It's 2006 almost 2007 and I am still fumbling around trying to put the pieces together. I am a visionary--but am not a very grounded or talented business man or corporate strategist. I am a very good team player and having met men over the years who'd worked in important think tanks (I met one older gentleman in the 80's who'd been one of the handful in the Manhattan project) tell me that they could see that I'd be good at that sort of thing...I have tried to build bluelab's ideas up enough that they would catch hold of people like you and that your imagination would be fired sufficiently that you'd want to dive in and roll up your sleeves and work.
He was (is) a visionary--a haloed medicine man--was the senior Manager for Digital Corp in Colorado Springs handling "NORAD" technical support and what not--a former NASA engineer--and a recovering drunken Mohawk Indian. He was the first person to link what I had already discovered through my time in Menningers in 1980-1982 which was this phenomenal and miraculous--if mysterious atmosphere called "community" to its functional underpinnings.
When I was an inpatient (at Menningers) in 1980-'82 battling bi-polar illness and what not we used to have these weekly community meetings that as it turned out were really transformative. It's hard to isolate exactly what made those meetings so powerful and nurturing--but I have some ideas.
First, they were held in a highly focused and structured environment. The staff had regular schedules, as did the patients. These were consistent and dependable and created for me a sort of infrastructure for the wild and misguided energies I was often subject to. Two, there were several people in those meetings who were spiritually awake. Some of these men and women were what we would call "geniuses" or "spiritual masters" meaning that regardless of what sort of pandemonium might have erupted with one or more of the 23 patients (I keep wanting to write "students" in place of "patients") these men and women remained poised, transcendent, yet engaged and compassionate. They had that rare character which I have come to recognize as "sage like." Three, all were allowed to speak whatever they wished and were encouraged to be spontaneous--even if that meant risking saying something "inappropriate" or stupid. This tolerance--this real and loving and consistently accepting tolerance of all of us set the tone for "unconditional love." This meant that I gradually learned that I was in fact lovable--even when I was arrogant--pretentious--cowardly--mean spirited--or whatever...I do mean fully whatever. Four, the treators were humane enough and evolved enough to create a level playing field. Rarely did I feel condescended to. The section chief, Dr. Dean Collins--a world class Psychiatrist with Buddha presence on several occasions would walk up to me as I sat alone in the cafeteria eating my lunch and ask to join me. We never exchanged a lot in words--it was more our sense of one another. He loved me (and I adored him)--and everyone there with a profound and unwavering kindness, cheer, and playfulness that can only be associated with enlightenment. So I guess Five is that we had "wise elders" present who were able to hold the energy of the community in a gentle yet masterfully firm way--which gave people like me who were raised by raging fathers and doting childish mothers (though well intentioned) a sense of clarity and safety. I began to learn that I could let go.
It was in this sublime atmosphere--combined with my time with another master--my main doctor and guru, Becquer Benalcazar that allowed me to break free of the disease that had been killing me for some time--the disease of this destructive and raging and disembodied false self.
When I first got out of Menninger's after 2 years and 2 weeks of in- hospital treatment--I dove into AA and NA meetings. They were my refuge and my support. I craved the energy of community--that transcendent loving space where time slows, voices become softer, clearer, and more audible, where deep thoughts and subtle connections seem to flow without too much ado, where acquaintances feel familial--and where trusted friends feel even more intimate than the day before-- where the darkness--the wolf at the door is turned away--at least for a few minutes or hours.
I used to go to these lunch AA meetings in Topeka, Kansas where Menningers used to be located--and there were 4 or 5 extraordinary "old timers" in the group. They rarely said a lot, but they glowed, transmitting an atmosphere of peace and good will. They were natural and real and consistently kind to me. Occasionally one would say something to me in passing or in private that would ring my bell--like a Zen master offering a koan that I immediately understood. These were important experiences.
Over the next 15- 18 years I became disenchanted. A lot of my problem was of course "me" and my attitudes and behaviors--which remained self-defeating and problematic. I came into AA through a world class hospital, believed I was a true genius, had met a number of famous people--becoming friends with some and was a tragic romantic with feelings of supreme uniqueness.
7 years out of treatment I decided to go to art school. There I had a hard time locating "community" though early on I talked a lot about it. In art school I became a stand out--winning top awards, being asked by the President to holiday meals, and having famous New York artists to my house.
We got to do an experimental work with the sculptor, James Surls who shows in galleries like Marlborough and what not. We created a collaborative performance called "Beyond Time" which became a platform for a number of my notions. After the performance in his studio north of Houston--a 15000 sq foot redwood structrue surrounded by pines with a kitchen, clean room for his 8 foot wood block prints, showers, a stage, a 30 foot ceiling, and various relics, paintings and sculptures from friends and colleagues...he made a b-line to me after the performance--gave me a big hug--and told me it was the best thing he'd ever seen.
I created a piece in San Antonio called "I Wanna Be A Hero" in which a woman came up to me afterward and told me that she'd recently seen the Tibetan Lamas perform and that she'd had the same experience at my show. This felt like an enormous endorsement.
When I was at the Vermont Studio Center in '93 I was working with Jane Dickson--a woman with work in the Museum of Modern Art and the Met who used to come by my studio and often linger. I knew that I was in that exalted and inspired space that I had been in and out of for years since my initial awakening. One day she told me that I reminded her of her friend Kiki Smith and that though I was a good painter--she believed I was here to do something else...I took this to mean creating collaborations as a new and socially engaged art form.
There have been many other experiences. I have met some Tibetans who have indicated that I am some sort of rimpoche--a reincarnated master. I don't think this is unusual--and suspect that lots of people who are good artists are--like you and Bob probably.
Anyway, here we are. It's 2006 almost 2007 and I am still fumbling around trying to put the pieces together. I am a visionary--but am not a very grounded or talented business man or corporate strategist. I am a very good team player and having met men over the years who'd worked in important think tanks (I met one older gentleman in the 80's who'd been one of the handful in the Manhattan project) tell me that they could see that I'd be good at that sort of thing...I have tried to build bluelab's ideas up enough that they would catch hold of people like you and that your imagination would be fired sufficiently that you'd want to dive in and roll up your sleeves and work.
It took me a while to get over my sense of unworthiness with you and Bob because you've been on the front lines making original work for decades--and I have very little in the way of packaged credentials. I am a mysterious and intriguing figure to a number of well known people--but everyone's waiting for me to do something...
I am so grateful that you took the time to write all this. bluelab is about community. Let me recap:
most art work (including all media and forms) is, according to Carl Jung and some of his living proteges--"liminoid" or simply entertaining--and not transformative.
I am not familiar with that term tho i love Jung. Duchamp called it retinal art
The bluelab model proceeds upon the working assumption that "true community" is an udeal conduit by which to design and build works that are "limenal" or truly transformative. I created a piece some time ago called blue glass projects in which I went out and found 15-20 artists who were willing to meet regularly and to draw, to paint, to write, to brainstorm, and to make videos and performances.
There were a couple problems. 1. there was not enough structure and we lapsed too often into chaos--2. we had little of no money--so we were all stressed out trying to make work without proper resources. 3. we lacked some of the artistic skill sets to make polished collaborative presentations--that might turn heads--I don't know what else. The point is that the thing was successful on some levels--but it flew under the radar of the public eye--and consequently made no real impact.
if a tree falls in the forest it makes a sound but so what
This all goes back to what I was saying about "transformative space" A true community according to Peck is a "mystical body." This to me means that the community becomes a conduit--a channel for the miraculous. Because of the content of some of what I saw in my visionary moments in '81 I believe I am called to this work. I don't have all the technical answers or supports for my argument that this thing can in fact work and change lives--I am like Noah who was told to build a ridiculously large boat in the middle of dry land and to wait...
Through the ganglia if you will of the net especially I see a way to make work that can readily transmit empowered ideas to people in substantive enough ways to change hearts and minds. I am not the Power, I am not the Idea. I am not the Language. I am not the Inspiration. I am only the builder of the boat. I don't know how subtly correlative this analogy actually is, but in my mind--I am the founder--a founder-- in what can only be made fruitful by the concerted efforts of several very talented and skilled participants.
Peck who was for my money the man who picked up where Bill Wilson left off in terms of applying these principles of community to the world at large--said more than once that "in community lies the hope of the world." I've ran accross others saying things like that "if and when the Buddha returns he will return via community. "
Don't you think I know how hard all this is to swallow? I have carried the weight of being viscerally committed to something I can neither fully understand or seemingly shoulder for 25 plus years now.
All I can say is that it is my work. I want to make it clear enough and compelling enough that it will attract unto itself those who are called to be active participants--fellow leaders--as true community implies. It's not about me being the heavy--that will never work. There are plenty of instances in recent history to turn me away from the idea of being The Leader. Jim Jones, David Kuresh, Jim Backer, Jimmy Swaggert (hey, what's with the "Jims") are all examples of the corruption of inordinate power.
Peck who was for my money the man who picked up where Bill Wilson left off in terms of applying these principles of community to the world at large--said more than once that "in community lies the hope of the world." I've ran accross others saying things like that "if and when the Buddha returns he will return via community. "
Don't you think I know how hard all this is to swallow? I have carried the weight of being viscerally committed to something I can neither fully understand or seemingly shoulder for 25 plus years now.
All I can say is that it is my work. I want to make it clear enough and compelling enough that it will attract unto itself those who are called to be active participants--fellow leaders--as true community implies. It's not about me being the heavy--that will never work. There are plenty of instances in recent history to turn me away from the idea of being The Leader. Jim Jones, David Kuresh, Jim Backer, Jimmy Swaggert (hey, what's with the "Jims") are all examples of the corruption of inordinate power.
Community offers technologies similar to a nuclear reactor that allows enormous energy to be contained and distributed in healthy and affirming ways. Artists in subtler ways have been examples of abuse of power too. I have long called this (after Robert Moore, the Jungian professor from the U of Chicago coined it) the "Elvis Complex." This is rampant in today's culture. bluelab if it is to be successful will have to be safeguarded by principles (again from AA) such as anonymity.
Enough for now...I am so grateful to get to interact with you Mark. The vastness of your curiosity, your diligent and courageous body of work, and the quality of your tenacious independence have inspired me.
Jeff
My dream is to get artists who are technical wizards and who have the maturity to embark on an arduous and risky psychological journey, to get spiritual teachers and community building experts in to work with us, to have the funding to afford good food and reasonable tools and resources, and with all this some time--maybe a couple weeks or more--and build works that will turn heads--that can change hearts.I felt that you were attacking me when you said simply, "cowardice is the enemy." no-- fear is what i fight these days. I find that it is an inside job. No one is out to get me,. No one is falling down in their appreciation of my art. It is all about my unwillingness to step up to the plate. so i was encouraging you to fight your cowardice if you have some.
Enough for now...I am so grateful to get to interact with you Mark. The vastness of your curiosity, your diligent and courageous body of work, and the quality of your tenacious independence have inspired me.
Jeff
My dream is to get artists who are technical wizards and who have the maturity to embark on an arduous and risky psychological journey, to get spiritual teachers and community building experts in to work with us, to have the funding to afford good food and reasonable tools and resources, and with all this some time--maybe a couple weeks or more--and build works that will turn heads--that can change hearts.I felt that you were attacking me when you said simply, "cowardice is the enemy." no-- fear is what i fight these days. I find that it is an inside job. No one is out to get me,. No one is falling down in their appreciation of my art. It is all about my unwillingness to step up to the plate. so i was encouraging you to fight your cowardice if you have some.
Look Mark, I know you're a crackerjack artist--and incredibly driven and hard working creative--and that you've been out on your own investigations for decades. All I ask for is your wisdom and your expertise in the form of an occasional phone conversation and/or email like the above. I don't mean to offend you. In truth you owe me nothing--other than (in my mind at least) to fulfill the implied and mutually defined task of being a board of advisers member---an adviser. When I first approached you and Bob I didn't really know what a Board was or how it might be defined. Now I feel I have a better understanding--bluelab will soon be getting 501C-3 status and begin asking for money from donors--then the "board of advisers" will be asked to change hats to become the "board of directors." When this happens, there will be bi-laws and structures and agreements and you will have voting rights and responsibilities.
that sounds like words. actions are different. Of course writing down words is an action. Some words you mentioned that sound like trees in the forest:
mutually defined taskboard of advisers"board of directors."change hatsbi-laws and structures and agreementsvoting rightsresponsibilitiesI know what tasks and responsibilities are. what sort of tasks and what responsibilities? Which part did I define? I guess you can use my name for now if you like but i still don't get what you want me to actually do. if it is write an email yes I can do that. I will keep you informed of my activities.I appreciate your interest in my work.
mutually defined taskboard of advisers"board of directors."change hatsbi-laws and structures and agreementsvoting rightsresponsibilitiesI know what tasks and responsibilities are. what sort of tasks and what responsibilities? Which part did I define? I guess you can use my name for now if you like but i still don't get what you want me to actually do. if it is write an email yes I can do that. I will keep you informed of my activities.I appreciate your interest in my work.
Mark
I appreciate your long and thoughtful email. Warmly, Jeff
Mark Bloch wrote:
jeff I am not sure what you want me to do
Be my friend and mentor--like you already are. be yourself--just keep doing what you feel inclined to and give me occaisional feedback on what you hear me saying--or what you see me doing. “The question is no longer how did we get here, and why? But, where can we possibly go, and how? We live in a society that has drastically narrowed our sensitivity to moral and spiritual issues; the problem we face is how to deal with a belief structure that has blocked both psychological and spiritual development.
"If there is a new agenda, a new vision now emerging within our society, how might one help put it into practice?” Suzi Gablik
I feel I addressed this above you seem to have the right idea but if you have to shame me into participating, WHAT GOOD IS THAT? i am busy trying to figure out what I need to do on this sick planet to help. if you have it figured out, do it, But i would urge you to embark on a path that does not require the participation of others in order to validate it. today I have been thinking about a name for an idea i have had for years which is OMNICASTING in other words, everyone has their own little broadcasting station and is busy transmitting to the rest of the world. this has been coming for a long time and now it is here. its a miracle. who knows what form it will take? but yes i agree with you that the world is ailing and we need to put out positive messages. put yours out. our job is to take actions. we are not in the results business. we take the actions, the results we cannot control.if you require something from me to complete your happiness, then you will remain unhappy because you cannot guarantee what I will do.techniques like shame are like rumsfeld torture. it is unethical and more importantly it doesn't work. well maybe it does... you got me to write back!I like this image I found on your site http://www.flickr.com/photos/64522811@N00/252090997/today i have been thinking about the followinglook them up on wikipedia if you need further elaboration about their definitions- i think wikipedia is wonderful, don't you.false consciousnesscommodity fetishismpropaganda modelflakmass mediacommunicationbioinformaticsinformation theoryinformation entropyentropydiffusionmeme are you hip to the "Turqoise Meme"crossing the chasmbass diffusion modeldiffusion of innovations-----> this is where I started. It is a clumsy word. I prefer PANMODERNISM. I am developing my theoriesi found this particularly enlighteninghttp://www.utdallas.edu/~mzjb/bass.ppt I am interested in using capitalistic principals to achieve my ends at the moment. Not because i think it is the best plan but because everybody else does. Until it is not here any more, we have to fit into the money world. that means putting butts into seats is the criteria for goodness. it is not always accurate but it is a good indication. on some level, you have to ATTRACT OTHERS or you are preaching to the choir or screaming into the void. forgive me if i sound harsh. i am busy trying to make a living- off my art and in other ways to try and support my art habit.I like what you are doing keep it up.tell me specifically what you want me to do and I will tell you if I can do it.
mark
From: Jeff HogueDate: Mon, 11 Dec 2006 06:52:13 -0800 (PST)To: Mark Bloch Subject:
From: Jeff Hogue
Re: How are you?
are platitudes to be equated with substantive support from you? is your time so valuable that you can't take more than 3.5 seconds to offer support, compassionate direction, meaningful and cogent and specific feedback?
are platitudes to be equated with substantive support from you? is your time so valuable that you can't take more than 3.5 seconds to offer support, compassionate direction, meaningful and cogent and specific feedback?
...Mark Bloch wrote:
cowardice is the enemy!
cowardice is the enemy!
From: Jeff Hogue
Mark, I just wrote Bob and I am writing you imploring you to interact meaningfully with me and to offer a bit of your time and enormous experience to bluelab and to me to try to get things moving. I have refrained from asking again--perhaps out of cowardice--but I am feeling more and more focused and believe (in spite of perhaps a lack of external evidence other than ongoing blog entries www.communalart.blogspot.com
Jeff
